Occult Clerihews Challenge

The Occult Clerihews Challenge! Write a Clerihew about a famous occultist (and post it in the comments or link back to this post so I get a ping-back).

The only rule of clerihews is that they have four lines with an AABB rhyme scheme, and the first line ends with the subject’s last name. I’ve bent the rule slightly because it’s hard to find words to rhyme with Gardner and Valiente. Clerihews don’t have to scan, nor be a complete biography of the person they’re about, and they’re comic rather than serious.


Doreen Valiente, née Dominy
Probably never ate grits with hominy
She wrote great poetry about witchcraft
And refrained from engaging in bitch-craft.


Gerald Gardner, whose middle name was Brosseau,
Was a decidedly witchy virtuoso,
Became interested in folklore in Malaysia,
Died at sea and was buried in Tunisia.


King of the Witches, Alex Sanders,
Was often the subject of slanders,
He was famously bisexual,
And he liked a lot of Kabbalah in his ritual.


Self-styled Great Beast, Aleister Crowley,
Was frequently grumpy and growly
In Mexico, he conjured the demon Choronzon
And his books have a tendency to go on and on.


Starhawk, née Miriam Simos
Could never be compared to candy-floss.
She writes about witchcraft and permaculture,
And her books never go in the mulcher.


The writing of T Thorn Coyle
Has never gone off the boil,
It’s witchy and political, it’s never hypocritical,
It’s literature that’s analytical.


The good professor Ronald Hutton,
Is as bright as a very shiny button.
He writes extremely erudite tomes,
Which can be found in many Pagan homes.


The author Phil Hine,
Has an excellent line,
In essays occult and quite various,
Always original, never nefarious.


Druid chief, Philip Carr-Gomm
Writes with considerable aplomb.
I bumped into him at the unveiling of Doreen’s blue plaque
And then I went for an afternoon snack.

7 thoughts on “Occult Clerihews Challenge

  1. Pingback: Mocking the Devil | Davetopia

  2. I was at the unveiling of Doreen Valiente’s blue plaque, too!

    There was a chance to meet Phillip Carr-Gomm, it was in the park before the walk to Doreen’s flat. I spied him out of the corner of my eye and saw him trying to hide in a quiet corner to eat a sandwich. I thought, I could walk over there and say hello, but decided to leave him alone and get some peace…… only for a woman to walk right up to him and strike up a conversation. Ah, well!

    Liked by 1 person

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